The trade deadline is approaching, and the rumors are arriving like unwanted mail for the previous tenant. There are reports that Gradey Dick has an aggressive suitor, which sounds like something you would hear in a Victorian novel or a very specific type of HR seminar.
We do not know who the suitor is, but the word aggressive implies urgency. It makes me think of someone trying to buy a used couch on Facebook Marketplace at three in the morning. Gradey is out there wearing sparkly suits and shooting three-pointers, and someone, somewhere, has decided they simply must have that in their life.
The Beard and the Boredom
Then there is the matter of James Harden. Reports suggest the Raptors and the New Orleans Pelicans have inquired about him, but Harden reportedly has no interest in coming here. It is a bit like asking the most popular person at the party if they want to go get gas station taquitos with you, and they just stare at you until you walk away.
Harden is a complicated basketball player who likes to dribble a lot and grow a very significant beard. Toronto is a city where it is currently cold, and the taxes are confusing. I respect his honesty, but I also wonder if he knows how good our Caribbean food is. Probably not.
Looking for a Big Man
While the stars look elsewhere, the fans are looking at Jake Voskuhl. Someone on the internet is posting pictures of former backup centers until we trade for a new one. Jake Voskuhl played for us in 2008, and he had a very dependable way of existing on the court.
I remember my uncle once said that a good center is like a sturdy bookshelf (it does not move much and is generally made of wood). We currently need a sturdy bookshelf. If we cannot get Domantas Sabonis, perhaps we can just find another Jake. He is likely retired, but retirement is just a state of mind when you are seven feet tall.
The World Stage
Darko Rajakovic and his coaching staff are going to coach Team World in the Rising Stars game. This is a nice thing for Darko, who seems like the kind of man who gives very thoughtful gifts at a housewarming party. Team World usually has the best players anyway, because the world is quite large, and the United States is just one part of it.
It should be an easy win, but basketball is never truly easy. It is mostly just running back and forth until a buzzer tells you to stop. We will see if the international players enjoy Darko's enthusiasm, or if they are just wondering when they can go back to their hotel rooms.
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We are all just waiting for February to end. The weather is gray, the roster is in flux, and James Harden is somewhere else. At least we have memories of Jake Voskuhl. Those are free.