The Raptors are playing the Oklahoma City Thunder tonight at 7:30pm on TSN. It is a basketball game that counts toward the standings, which is something we have to accept. Mostly, I am just thinking about how Oklahoma City has so many draft picks that they might eventually own the rights to some of us.
The big news is that Jakob Poeltl is back in Toronto for targeted pain relief. The team says there is no timeline for his return, which is a phrase that sounds like a philosophy major trying to explain why they were late for dinner. Back issues are complicated because everyone has a back, and they are almost always bothering you if you are over the age of thirty or if you jump for a living.
The Search for a Middleman
With Jakob out, everyone is looking for a new person to stand in the middle of the court. Some people want Domantas Sabonis, but there is a video circulating of him being handled quite roughly by Kevon Looney. It is a reminder that being tall and talented does not always keep you from getting pushed around on a Tuesday night.
My uncle says we should just play five guards and hope the other team gets confused by the lack of height. He also thinks we should bring back Rasho Nesterovic, but I do not think Rasho has checked his voicemail in years.
Other Potential Solutions
There is some talk about Moussa Diabete. People say he is raw but has a great defensive eye, which sounds like something you would say about a chef who burns the steak but looks really focused while doing it. We seem to be in a phase where we are collecting players like my friend Dale collects old camcorders (they might work one day, but for now they just take up space in the basement).
- Jakob Poeltl: Out (Back stuff)
- Sabonis: Unlikely (Looney issues)
- Diabete: Raw (Defensive eyes)