There is a person out there who has sketched a drawing for fifty three consecutive Raptors games. I find that level of commitment to be slightly terrifying, mostly because it means they have had to look at this team more closely than most medical professionals recommend. It is impressive, though, in the same way it is impressive when someone builds a scale model of a cathedral out of toothpicks.
You look at the drawing and you realize that basketball is just shapes and movement, mostly moving toward a basket that occasionally feels like it is shrinking. My uncle used to say that art is just life with better lighting. He also used to say that the 2007 Raptors were the peak of human achievement, so his credibility is somewhat negotiable.
The Trade That Wasn't and the One That Might Have Been
Apparently, the Denver Nuggets said no to a Nikola Jokic trade. I am not sure what we offered, but I assume it involved a few draft picks, some expired coupons, and maybe a very polite letter written in cursive. It is a bold move to ask for the best player in the world, like asking to buy the CN Tower just because you have a really nice patio.
The word on the street, which is a place people usually go to buy questionable watches or avoid their landlords, is that we made a push for Walker Kessler. He is out for the season, which fits the general aesthetic of our roster lately. We seem to enjoy collecting talented people who are currently being defeated by gravity or various ligament issues.
The Geometry of Basketball Players
We are spending a lot of time looking at the measurements of CMB and TJD. They have a 1.75 inch difference in height, yet their wingspans and standing reaches are nearly identical. It makes you wonder why we focus on height at all, given that most of life is lived from the fingertips up.
If you have a 7 foot wingspan but you are only 6 foot 6, you are basically a human albatross. That sounds like a compliment, until you remember that albatrosses mostly just drift over oceans looking for squid. I hope they find the basketball version of squid, which I assume is a clean look from the corner.
Customs and Other Obstacles
There is a story circulating about Rudy Gay having his belongings stuck in customs for an entire year after he was traded to Toronto. Imagine playing professional basketball while all your favorite socks and your fancy blender are sitting in a warehouse near the airport. It explains a lot about the mid 2010s, if you really think about it.
It would be difficult to focus on a zone defense when you are wondering if a customs agent is currently using your toaster. This is the reality of playing in Canada (the paperwork is the real sixth man). We are just a collection of people waiting for packages to clear, hoping the next trade brings someone who can jump high or at least someone who owns their own furniture.