Raptors

The Fifth Seed and Other Strange Mirages

The Raptors are currently the 5th seed despite an 11-game losing streak to the Knicks, drawing strange parallels to the 2013-14 era of gatekeeping mediocrity.

Published on March 8, 2026

The Fifth Seed and Other Strange Mirages

The Raptors are currently sitting in the fifth seed. It is a strange place to be, mostly because the team just lost their eleventh straight game to the Knicks. Losing to the same team eleven times in a row feels like a statistical anomaly, or perhaps a very specific curse involving a bridge in Manhattan.

Some people say we are ahead of schedule and playing with house money. I never understood that phrase because house money usually belongs to a casino, and casinos generally do not want you to have their money. We are standing in the middle of a floor that might be made of marble, or it might be linoleum, and we are holding a handful of chips we found in a couch.

Looking Backward to Move... Somewhere

There is a theory floating around that this group feels like the 2013-14 roster. That specific team was interesting because they were 5-17 against the top ten teams but 43-17 against everyone else. They were essentially the gatekeepers of mediocrity, which is an important job that someone has to do.

Back then, the Eastern Conference was famously terrible, and the Raptors just steamrolled through it like a lawnmower that occasionally coughs. People are hoping for a similar path now, as long as we avoid the 2015 outcome. Getting swept by Washington was a very specific kind of pain, like eating a sandwich that is only crust.

The Physics of the Fourth Quarter

We are experiencing a lot of fourth quarter meltdowns lately. Darko Rajakovic seems to be good at the middle parts of games, specifically the third quarter. It appears we are very good at the part of the game where people are still finishing their popcorn, but less good when the lights get bright and the clock starts doing that blinking thing.

Grading a coach is a difficult task that I am not entirely qualified for, though I have opinions on many things. Some say a coach is only worth a few wins or losses either way. It is a bit like weather forecasting; if it rains, you blame the guy in the suit, even though he does not control the clouds or the pressure systems.


The Medical Report

Murray-Boyles is out again with that left thumb injury. It has been a problem for over two months now, and apparently, it gets reaggravated every time he hits it. This makes sense, as hitting an injured body part usually makes it hurt more. I once stubbed my toe on a coffee table in 2009 and I still think about that table with a great deal of animosity.

We are heading to play the Timberwolves next. Playing in Minnesota in March sounds like something that requires a very thick coat and a certain level of emotional fortitude. We will probably see some more spinning, some missed free throws, and perhaps a moment where we all wonder why we spend our evenings watching tall people move a ball around. It is a living, I suppose.