The Detroit Pistons lost at the buzzer. It was a very loud loss, mostly because it happened to them, but also because people in Toronto were counting on them for some reason. This is where we are in March of 2026.
We are watching Detroit games for help with our seating chart. It is like asking a person who is currently on fire for advice on how to fix your thermostat. The Pistons fell, and with them, our immediate hopes of breathing room.
A First Quarter to Forget
The Raptors played the Clippers on Wednesday. The final score was 119 to 94, but it felt much longer than that. The first quarter was particularly difficult to witness, mostly because it involved playing basketball while the other team also played basketball, but better.
Even the person running the social media account for the team seemed to find it inexcusable. It is rare to see an intern express the collective existential dread of a fanbase, but here we are. It was a 12 minute period that made me think about the 2007 roster. Sometimes I miss Jorge Garbajosa.
The Tiebreaker Math
Despite the loss, we are still tied for fifth in the Eastern Conference with the Atlanta Hawks. We own the season series sweep advantage, which is a nice thing to have. It is like having a coupon that never expires, but you have to go to Atlanta to use it.
The schedule ahead is complicated. We have the Pelicans at home, while Atlanta has to go to Boston to play the Celtics. Boston is a very good team that plays in a city where everyone seems to be shouting at all times.
- Remaining schedule: Advantage Toronto
- Tiebreaker situation: Advantage Toronto
- Mental health: Advantage nobody
Radical Solutions for Radical Times
In the middle of the night, someone suggested we sign Ben Simmons. This is the kind of thought you have when you have been staring at a lava lamp for too long. The logic was that he has no three point percentage and poor scoring, which makes him a natural fit for our current offensive style.
It is a strange time to be a fan. We are looking at box scores from Michigan and dreaming of Australian point guards who do not like to shoot. I am going to drink some water and look at the standings again. They probably will not have changed in the last five minutes, but I have been wrong before.